Crazy Snake Man's Tale of Suffering
by matteney
Summary: AU set during 4x19, TOW All The Haste. While secretly moving the boys' stuff back into the respective apartments, Monica discovers something in Chandler's room that he had never intended for her to see.
1. Chapter 1

Monica had had enough.

Not only was apartment 19 a dingy hole, but it was also Rachel's constant nagging that was getting the best of her.

No, intense cleaning aside, this was and would always remain a boys' apartment. She and Rachel had spent hours the previous night to come up with a plan that would convince Joey and Chandler to switch back the apartments, but no such luck.

Their relentless discussion continued in the morning, including a pregnant Phoebe who had some very questionable ideas for the duo.

"Or you could strip for them!" The blonde excitedly suggested.

Rachel looked at an incredulous Monica who paused for a second and then focused on the sizzling omelette in the pan in front of her again.

"I don't think so, Pheebs," Rachel shook her head before taking another sip of her coffee.

Phoebe just shrugged before the next strike of genius apparently hit her. "Oh, oh! How about you bet a voucher for the strip club then, huh? You know how excited the guys get at the prospect of naked ladies. Especially Chandler," she raised her eyebrow knowingly.

Monica sighed while turning off the stove.

"No, I don't think that would work. First of all, you know what happened last time we bet against them – we lost and they won the Knicks tickets. And on top of that, remember two weeks ago when the guys discovered that channel with the free porn? I think they're still recovering from that experience," she paused before shivering, "in fact, _I'm_ still recovering from that experience.

The girls mumbled something in return while nodding their heads in unison. Monica served her omelette to her friends as they all sat down on the table and started to eat their breakfast.

"You know, you should just punish them by not inviting them for breakfast anymore," Phoebe said while having a sip of her orange juice.

Monica grinned. "Well, that would certainly work on Joey."

There was another silence as they all thought of other possible ways to get apartment 20 back. Monica was certain that the main problem was Chandler. Joey could easily be convinced with anything that involved food, the Knicks or women. Chandler, on the other hand…

She racked her brain to think about her best friend's weaknesses. She was the one who knew Chandler in and out, why was it so hard to come up with something that would hit his soft spot?!

"Mon?"

Monica shook her head slightly and looked at Rachel. "Huh?"

Grinning slightly, Rachel gave Phoebe a pointed look before repeating her previous comment. "Phoebe just said something that might help us: aren't the guys going to the Knicks game this afternoon?"

Monica nodded, still confused.

Hopping up and down on her chair, Phoebe excitedly clapped her hands together. "Why don't we use that time to switch apartments?! You know, just take your apartment back! Enough with all the betting and the ridiculous competitive games; just do it."

Monica glanced over at her friends slowly and doubtfully. Those were clearly Phoebe's pregnancy hormones at work.

"I don't know… they did win that apartment fair and square," Monica admitted. Again, it was Chandler's reaction she feared the most were they to actually go through with Phoebe's clearly unfounded idea.

Groaning in frustration, Rachel threw her napkin on the table and stood up. "No, Monica, enough with this pity party! I'm sick and tired of this place and I can tell you feel the same way! So let's just get it over with! They will be gone for at least a couple of hours which should give us enough time to move the stuff. And if after all that they still want to switch back again, they'll have to do it themselves! And knowing Joey and Chandler, they will both be too lazy to actually go through with it."

Phoebe nodded and then shrugged, "plus, if they need more convincing after that, you two could always kiss in front of them for a minute."

Monica rolled her eyes before glancing at both of her friends for a few moments, then she reluctantly agreed. "Okay, let's do it." After all she wasn't one to obey _all_ the rules, she had to admit while thinking of the infamous 'Geller Bowl' incident.

"YAY!" Phoebe got up as well as the girls all celebrated their idea in a group hug. "Let's get your apartment back!"

A few hours later, the girls were ready for their big move. Phoebe was hogging the peephole of apartment 19, not moving as she watched both Joey and Chandler closing the door of apartment 20. They were visibly excited at the prospect of watching a Knicks game from premium seats, high-fiving each other before quickly starting their descent down the stairs. Phoebe waited another minute for good measure before turning around and giving a thumbs-up to the other two. "All clear – let's go!"

In the past hours, they had even come up with a meticulous plan when clearing out the place. Monica had assigned tasks for each of them; due to her condition, Phoebe was to only carry the light stuff while she and Rachel would switch the furniture of the respective living rooms. When it came to the individual rooms, Monica had assigned Rachel to Joey's room while she would sort through Chandler's belongings, mainly because his stuff would go back into the room that she was now vacating in apartment 19.

"Okay, let's go!" she shouted excitedly. Cleaning up and sorting through stuff was clearly Monica's speciality and under her command, the girls quickly got to work. The living room was first, followed by the kitchen items – which didn't take the girls long in apartment 20 as the boys mostly ordered food in – and the bathroom. Upon seeing the questionable state of the toilet, Monica scrunched up her nose. This was not a good time for second thoughts. She would just have to devote an entire day of cleaning to the bathroom.

While Phoebe was taking a break, both Rachel and Monica moved on to sort through the boys' rooms. Equipped with three boxes, Monica entered Chandler's bedroom, which used to belong to Rachel. She was surprised by how tidy and clean it actually was as she scanned her surroundings, trying to come up with the most efficient way to move his personal belongings. The first box was quickly filled when she realised she most likely wouldn't need all the boxes as Chandler had surprisingly little clutter, just a few silly practical joke devices like a Bobblehead or a Rubik's cube. She quickly placed his alarm clock, the last item taken from the nightstand, into the second box before neatly gathering his bed sheets in her arms.

Suddenly, she stubbed her foot on a large metal item that was badly stowed underneath the bed.

"Son of a b*tch," she cursed silently while bending down and rubbing her foot. As the pain subsided, curiosity got the best of her and she carefully sat down on the carpet before getting hold of the item that had caused her so much pain in the first place.

She slowly pulled the dark blue metal box out from under the bed, cringing as she was met with a thick layer of dust on its surface. Knowing she would have to vacuum anyway, she used the back of her sleeve to get rid of it. Whatever it was that was in this box, Chandler clearly hadn't touched it in forever.

All of a sudden, Monica felt a thrill going through her body. It hit her just how forbidden and wrong it was what the girls were doing, and yet she was incredibly curious of what was in front of her. She knew Chandler better than anyone else and yet there were still sides to him that he kept hidden even from her. What she was doing was extremely dodgy and, above all, invaded his very own privacy. But she still couldn't stop herself from seeing what he kept hidden in this mysterious box she had retrieved from under the bed. The gang had often made fun of some of Chandler's belongings and kinks, like the jewellery box or the sock that he sometimes kept next to his bed (of course they all knew what _that_ was about), so Monica could understand why he would opt to keep certain things hidden. They could really be an insanely inquisitive bunch.

She bit the inside of her mouth while holding onto the box, fighting some last doubts she had about opening it. However, Monica's curiosity was an impossible thing to beat. She held her breath as she slowly lifted the lid, coming face to face with the cover of a book. There was no title visible as she picked it up carefully and turned it around in her hands. She assumed it was some sort of scrapbook as its pages were brimming with photo paper and diverse clippings, it seemed. However, when she opened the first page she noticed that she was only partly right as the book had also been used as a diary.

She immediately recognised Chandler's untidy handwriting on the first page; he had scribbled a sentimental message across the page: "Crazy Snake Man's Tale of Suffering."

Monica furrowed her eyebrows while at the same time shaking her head. She distinctly remembered his freak-out after Mr Heckles' death and his rant about rejecting every perfect woman he had ever been with due to the most ridiculous imperfections. Still curious, Monica flipped through a few pages before stopping on one page that was adorned with a few pictures. She instantly smiled when she saw that it was a photo of her and Chandler in the hospital from the day that Ben was born. She was sitting in a chair in Carol's hospital room and was holding the newborn baby tightly in her arms, supporting his head while adoringly looking into her nephew's eyes. Next to her was Chandler who, to her surprise, looked entirely at ease while being around a baby. His arm was wrapped around Monica's small frame and he grinned as he was watching the scene in front of him, neither of them looking at the camera.

Monica felt something pull at her heart strings as she looked at the picture more closely. She vaguely remembered that Ross had taken pictures that day, but she'd had no clue he had captured this specific moment between her and Chandler. Her eyes slowly wandered to the opposite page that was almost entirely covered in Chandler's handwriting.

 _May 11_ _th_ _, 1995: Wow, like you wouldn't believe today! Ross is actually a father! A FATHER! I should have seen that coming, but it's still weird to see one of my best friends with their baby. And this is me – commitment-phobic crazy snake man, who's afraid of babies and marriage and… well, babies and marriage. And yet today made me realise that maybe, one day, I'd like to be that guy._

 _I think it was because I was there with Monica, too. The scary thing is that she's there already… she is ready to be a mum. I could see it in her eyes when she was holding Ben. The phone call she had with Judy earlier didn't help either – she was ready to steal those twins from the lady in the wheelchair within a second!_

 _It kills me that she doesn't think she'll ever get there. I_ _ **know**_ _she will. And if that day doesn't come soon enough for her, I wanted her to know that she has other options… Yes, that's right, crazy snake man offered to be her B-A-B-Y's daddy! She didn't take it well, though. I wish she could see just how amazing she is. I wish I could protect her from all the bad guys out there._

 _Okay, I'm getting carried away here… it was just a very memorable day; look at how beautiful she looks holding Ben!_

 _One day it'll happen for you, Mon. One day…_

Monica wiped away a tear she didn't know she had been crying, but the second one quickly followed and hit the paper in an instant. She cursed silently as she tried to wipe away the wet spot, accidentally smudging the ink writing instead. "Sh*t!"

She attempted to calm down as she listened for any sounds that might come from the other room where Rachel was clearing through Joey's mess, but it was just the usual moving of boxes.

Before she could think about Chandler's sweet words even longer, she quickly flipped through a few more pages. In between, she scanned her name on almost every other page, which gave her chills. Was this entire diary dedicated to _her_?

The next photo she saw was from their trip to Montauk. It was a group picture, but it was obvious that the focus of the picture was on Monica and Chandler. It was taken before the jellyfish incident and she could swear they looked like a couple, even though she remembered continuously turning his advances down that weekend.

Now all she could think about were the words he'd said to her during the trip.

"Am I not boyfriend material?!"

Her heart beat faster in her chest as something dawned on her. Was he serious all this time? Did he really consider being in a relationship with her back then? She was almost scared to read through the next handwritten paragraph.

 _May 15th, 1997: So this weekend was a total bust. It started out pretty great, we were going to have fun at the beach house and then it all went downhill. After a couple of margaritas and a game of strip poker, idiot me couldn't shut up any longer. I still have no idea why, but I asked Monica out! Multiple times! And obviously she shut me down. Every. single. time. What was I thinking?! She's way out of my league and I'm just her stupid, commitment-phobic, sarcastic, immature_ _friend_ _. A friend, that's all I am to her and all I'll ever be. I'm just trying to come to terms with the rejection. Which shouldn't be too hard now given the fact that I've_ _ **peed on her**_ _. Yes, that's right. I peed on the love of my life!_

Monica swallowed hard as she read the paragraph's last sentence over and over again. She was the love of his life? She'd been so clueless. The diary entry was longer, but she was interrupted all of a sudden.

"Mon, how's it going in there? You about done? I think we should hurry up," Rachel said from the living room as Monica quickly closed the diary and put it back into the metal box before contemplating what to do with the precious item. Of course she had to move it into apartment 19, but she was almost certain that Chandler would find out that someone had touched his diary. She still couldn't believe what she'd read.

"Yes, I'm almost finished, just a few more minutes," Monica quickly replied before stowing everything in the second box and getting up. Why the hell did she have to go through his private stuff?! She silently cursed herself before getting up to move the boxes of Chandler's stuff into the other apartment. They still had a lot to do before the guys came back from the game.

Now she knew what Chandler's weak spot was – it was her.

* * *

 **A/N: Many thanks to the lovely Beth (simplymondler) who gave me this idea quite a while ago; not sure if she remembers. ;) I've been feeling like writing some Mondler fic again so here it is! And it was so much fun; I got a lot done within a couple of hours so I figured this little fic will be more than just a one-shot – so expect one more chapter! As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this; reviews make me a happy gal!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who has left a review for the previous chapter! I'm glad you're liking the idea – I'm sorry it took me a while to finish this second chapter but I usually don't have the time or energy to pre-write chapters so the frequency of updates depends on my 'schedule'. I felt like giving you this somewhat short chapter for now which means that this story will definitely get at least one (?) more chapter; yay! As always, reviews are appreciated. Also, I changed the rating a tiny bit. This chapter is from Chandler's POV.**

* * *

What a game it had been! Seeing their favourite team play from such great seats had been incredible to say the least. Chandler was in a great mood; all this apartment betting with the girls had been exhausting but also very rewarding for him and Joey. Not only had they moved into the bigger apartment, but they'd gotten to keep their poultry and now, to top it all off, had even won the best seats at the _Knicks_ game. After all the heartbreak he'd been through with Kathy, life was slowly looking up again. Little did he know that would change in the blink of an eye.

He stopped in the hallway when Joey pulled on his arm.

"Hey! Should we give these shirts to the girls? Y'know, kinda like a peace offering," the Italian asked as he held up the two tees they had been given at the game.

Chandler shrugged easily. "Oh yeah, that's very nice. Plus, y'know they were free and they're too small." He turned and went on to knock on apartment 19's door before entering, his heart stopping and eyes bulging out of his head when he saw the state of it.

"Oh, oh no," he mumbled while proceeding to frantically run around the space that was now filled with his and Joey's furniture again. He took the beer from Joey, mostly out of habit, staring at his roommate in disbelief. A second later, Joey finally realised the switch and they both ran across the hall as Chandler practically slammed into the door of apartment 20 and started banging his hands against the wood.

"Open up! Open up! Open up!"

Monica was the first one to appear behind the key chain – _of course_ , Chandler thought to himself, she was always the fearless and determined one. She looked at him with a serious look before replying, "we'll discuss it in the morning" and slamming the door shut again. In turn, Chandler shot an incredulous look at his best friend. She could _not_ be serious! They had stolen their apartment and didn't even seem to feel bad about it.

After a few seconds – his pulse still at lightning speed, mind you – he raised his voice against the door. "What the hell is going on?!"

The door was opened once more, an angry Rachel appearing this time around. "We took our apartment back!"

Chandler turned around in disbelief once more. They really _were_ serious!

For the third time, the door of apartment 20 was opened by Phoebe, who pled that she had nothing to do with it.

At this point, Chandler didn't even care. He was so riled up when the door had been opened again that he just burst into the small gap between the frame and the door that was being held up by the security chain.

Now, it was Monica's turn to face Chandler. _Damn it, why did they always use her in situations like this?!_ He swore they knew that she was his weakness.

Nonetheless, he tried to focus as he kept his foot in the door. "We are switching back. Right now!"

But Monica had never been one to back down. Still rooted to her spot, her voice got even shriller than before. "No, we're not! We're not leaving!

Damn, this woman was fierce!

Still too angry to fight with her, he glared before retorting: "Well, you're gonna have to leave sometime, because you both have jobs, and as soon as you do, we're switching it back! There's nothing you can do to stop us! Right, Joe?"

He almost lost it when his roommate only replied with a weak "I don't know" while shaking his head slowly. Chandler closed the door forcefully and turned to Joey instead. "What?!"

"I don't wanna move again.." Joey made some wild gestures back and forth to indicate the effort related to all the furniture switching, but it was a lost cause to Chandler. How could Joey be okay with this?! His blood was boiling and he knew he had to convince his best friend so he raised his voice dramatically in the process.

"I don't care, this is our apartment! And they **stole** —you _**stole**_ it—our apartment, and we won that apartment fair and square, twice! And I am getting it back right now. I'm getting back right now!"

He was almost surprised that his yelling had worked when the girls opened the door for them. However, when Rachel started to talk about a 'backup offer' he was back to square one again. He immediately denied vigorously but Rachel continued nevertheless. What came next sounded almost too good to be true, especially since it came from Monica's mouth.

"…as a thank you, Rachel and I will kiss for one minute."

Chandler felt his heart stop as all his blood already drifted down south just from hearing those sweet words. Sure, in a perfect world it would have been him getting to kiss Monica, but a little girl-on-girl action was the next best thing.

He didn't even need to look back to know that Joey was totally on board with the offer, especially since he hadn't insisted on taking their apartment back in the first place. The girls invited them inside and motioned for them to sit on the couch as they awkwardly got into position. Chandler still couldn't believe he was about to witness a female make-out session that was only dedicated to them. Finally he was able to stare at Monica without it being deemed inappropriate. As soon as the girls' lips touched, he craned his neck and wet his lips, watching not only Monica's sensual lips and rosy cheeks, but also her petite body as it pressed against that of Rachel. For good measure he also quickly scanned Rachel, but found that the blonde didn't remotely affect him the way her roommate did.

After the best minute of his life was over – which had happened way too fast – he and Joey got up simultaneously before nodding their heads into the direction of the girls and heading back over to their former apartment. Each one of them headed straight into the vicinity of their respective rooms after having agreed that this special backup offer had indeed been worth all the fuss.

Chandler exhaled deeply as he closed both halves of his door behind himself, stopping in his tracks and slowly scanning the familiar room that now held all his belongings again. Even though there were no traces of Monica's furniture left and the room was most likely cleaner than it had ever been before, he couldn't deny the Monica-ness of all of it. Worst of all, the room still smelled like her. This didn't help the state of his nether regions and he cursed himself silently. Shrugging off his jacket and kicking off his shoes, he fell onto his bed – there was no use fighting it; his erection was almost painful as his head was still filled with the most delicious images of his crush making out with another woman. He pushed his pants down in a rush, followed by his boxers. The smell of Monica that now filled his senses was almost too strong to bear. His right hand was already wrapped around his manhood when he remembered that one important addition was missing – his sock.

He sat up quickly, suddenly aware of the situation. The girls had moved _all_ of their stuff back. Most importantly, all of _his_ stuff, too. A mild panic overcame him at the thought of them going through his personal belongings. Usually, Chandler didn't have to worry about anyone coming into his room without his permission – why would they, there was nothing of interest in here. And yet he still didn't feel comfortable thinking about the fact that they went through _all of his stuff_ when moving the furniture. His pants around his ankles, he jumped up quickly as he opened the top drawer of his nightstand – and breathed a sigh of relief. There it was, the white sock he used for emergencies just like this. He only hoped that the girls hadn't opened any drawers or boxes earlier. He allowed himself to be lulled into a sense of security while planting his naked behind on the duvet again to take care of his 'problem'.

All of a sudden, something far more important than the stupid sock entered his mind. His blood ran cold as he pulled up his pants far too quickly, almost squashing his manhood in the process. He winced but within seconds he was on all fours and scanned the contents that were stowed under his bed – amongst them, his most precious possession still lay. For the tenth time on this day, he breathed a sigh of relief before pulling the blue metal box out from its hiding place.

The cold metal that was between his hands now calmed him down, but only for a second. Slowly, he lifted up the box and held it against the light, squinting. The protective layer of dust that had covered the container which held his diary was now completely gone. Exposed. That's what he felt like, too.

He couldn't shake the feeling that one of the girls had stolen at least a few glances at his most intimate thoughts. Afraid to be confronted with the truth, he fought with himself for a while before lifting the lid and taking the book into his hands. There were no outer signs of usage, but when he flipped through some of the pages a few seconds later there was no doubt anymore. His mind was going a million miles a second when he noticed the smudged ink on one of the earlier entries already.

Shit.

 _Someone_ had definitely read through his very detailed and enamoured descriptions of Monica. The only problem was – there was no way to find out who.

Still in panic mode, Chandler ran his hand through his hair as he tried to process the information. He tried to remember if there had been any indications from the meeting with the girls before, any detail that might have given the guilty one away, but he had to pass. He had been way too focused on the kissing action and the girls' effort to calm him and Joey down.

Before he had time to give the situation more thought, he heard the front door open and his reverie was brought to a halt by Ross' excited voice.

 _Guess this has to wait_ , he thought to himself before placing the box back under the bed, joining an overly psyched Ross along with Joey.

Sooner or later, he would find out who had been the one to read about his (not so secret) crush on Monica. The only question was whether the damage could be fixed or if the entirety of his undisclosed desires had been revealed to the one who was affected by it the most…


	3. Chapter 3

Monica looked around their familiar apartment, the atmosphere buzzing with excitement. She was still in disbelief about the news that her brother had just shared with all of them: he was engaged to Emily! And even though she was happy for Ross, she couldn't help the feeling of sadness that filled her heart upon having heard the surprising announcement. She felt sad for Rachel. Her best friend was still so hung up on her brother. But she felt sad for herself, too. Years had passed since Ross got engaged to his first girlfriend, Carol, and here he was again; he'd found the second love of his life and was about to embark on a wonderful journey with her. Marriage and children included, Monica assumed. She let out a small sigh that she didn't know she had been holding back as she watched Joey ask Ross another question. With everything that had been going on, she had almost forgotten about the events this afternoon.

Now and then she would steal a glance at Chandler who had been mostly quiet throughout the evening. He'd made one or two of his usual jokes and she swore she had felt his gaze on her several times, but she could have been mistaken. After all, it had been a huge announcement and they were all still pretty shaken up. It had allowed Monica to postpone thinking about the revelation in Chandler's diary, but she knew it already had become an inevitable topic. After all, he was one of her best friends and her neighbour.

"Monica?"

She blinked a few times before looking at Phoebe, who, in turn, raised her eyebrow in curiosity.

"Huh?"

"Joey just asked if you have any champagne so we can celebrate Ross and Emily's engagement."

"Oh. Let me have a look," Monica got up and made a beeline for the fridge, but Chandler was in her way. He cleared his throat as he wanted to get out of the way and stepped to the right just as Monica chose to do the same, the both of them crashing into each other.

"Gosh, I'm sorry," she laughed awkwardly and blushed slightly before stepping aside and hiding behind the fridge door. The cool air hit her instantly as she searched for the bottle of champagne, relieved it provided a brief hiding place.

Chandler remained rooted to his spot between the sofa and the kitchen table as the gang continued to chat in the living room area. He'd spent the last hours trying to find out which of the girls had been snooping around his personal belongings, but other than some odd glances that had been directed at him due to his obvious staring, he'd remained clueless. He had even thought about casually bringing up the issue within their circle of friends – but would that prepare him for the answer? Depending on the result, he'd have to pull a pretty straight face and act as if he didn't care much. And if it really turned out to be Monica who had discovered his secret feelings, he was certain there was no way on earth he could keep his emotions in check.

Sighing, he screwed the cap back on his bottle of Yoo-Hoo before taking a seat in the living room again.

Monica came back with a few glasses of champagne, distributing them amongst her friends before returning with the ice-cold bubbly. Ever since she had found out about Chandler's hidden feelings for her, she couldn't stop staring at him. Her hands were shaking slightly when she felt his intense gaze on her while she tried to open the slippery bottle.

Why did she have to find his diary?! And more importantly – why did she read it?

She wished she could turn back time. But his words kept playing in her mind, no matter how hard she tried to forget them. Shaking, she fumbled with the cork that was seemingly stuck. Monica sighed in frustration as Chandler got up.

"You need help with th-"

All of a sudden the bottle popped open and the cork was sent flying with an immense speed and a loud 'plop'. Before anyone could react, it hit Chandler's forehead hard, the force sending him tumbling to the floor.

Monica gaped at the scene in front of her. Chandler was spread out on the floor, rubbing the small bump on his red forehead as he tried to ease the pain.

"Oh god, I'm so sorry, Chandler."

All eyes were on the two of them. Chandler groaned and slowly sat up, trying to focus. As if this day couldn't get any worse for him, his crush not only scarred him emotionally, but also physically.

"S'okay, Mon," he nodded his head and attempted to get up. The living room was still spinning slightly and he grabbed onto the couch to support himself.

Monica glanced at him and cleared her throat when Rachel took the bottle from her, filling the glasses instead. The blonde looked at her in a funny way. "I think it's best if I take over from here."

Joey giggled and rubbed his hands, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. Everyone looked at him, puzzled. "Pretty sure we're not gonna complain if you pick up from where you left a few hours ago."

Rachel rolled her eyes. "Get your mind out of the gutter, Tribbiani."

"Hey, I'm not the only one who enjoyed that girl-on-girl action! Right, Chandler!" The Italian patted Chandler's back, waiting for his friend's support, failing to notice that he was making his roommate even more miserable as Ross glared at the two men.

Monica turned a darker shade of pink. She only now noticed that the secret she had uncovered gave the cheeky kissing game from this afternoon a whole other meaning. It was meant as a silly way to appease the guys for the reverse apartment trade. She glanced at Chandler shortly, wondering if she'd unintentionally made it even harder for him to get over her. Or did he actually want to get over her? Knowing his innermost thoughts really did not sit well with her.

Chandler's blue eyes met hers briefly, his brow furrowed. He watched as Monica bit her nails. A habit he knew she only resorted to when she was nervous about something, mostly when a visit from her mum was approaching and she had to think of ways to meet her demands. His mind went into overdrive, completely focused on his brunette friend and shutting out everything else. Was it possible that she was the one who'd discovered his diary?

He wet his lips after they had all drunk to Ross and Emily's future as a married couple, taking another gulp of the champagne, praying the alcohol would numb his senses. Maybe probing wouldn't be the worst idea. At least that would give him some much-needed clarity. Clarity that would decide his fate: did he have another chance to finally get over his hopeless crush, or should he get ready to dig his own grave?

He watched as Rachel filled up everyone's glasses again, grateful that he wasn't the only one suffering tonight. His hands wrapped around the champagne flute and he closed his eyes when the cold, sparkling liquid engulfed his tongue.

It seemed like fate demanded another chapter of crazy snake man's tale of suffering.

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 **A/N: Thanks for being so patient with me. I'm in full-time employment now so I don't have much time to write. I'll admit that I'm not entirely satisfied with this chapter but I hope it works for now. It also gives me another chance to improve my writing with the next chapter. I had this really great idea for this chapter a few weeks ago, but I forgot to write it down and it got completely lost in the process. It's been frustrating me ever since and is most likely the reason why I struggled so much with this one. If it ever comes back to me, I promise to rewrite or at least work the ideas into future chapters. Alas.**


	4. Chapter 4

Chandler groaned when Phoebe squeezed in next to him on the couch. The room was spinning, he felt way too hot and now it seemed like the couch was getting smaller and smaller, too. He felt constricted in every sense of the word. And on top of that, the bump on his head was still giving him a headache.

He vaguely heard Phoebe ask him something, but he couldn't care less. Shrugging his shoulders, he took another swig from the umpteenth beer bottle this evening. Ross and Emily had long since cancelled their plans to celebrate in private as the impromptu party was in full swing, Monica busying herself by playing the hostess once again. He hadn't really had a chance to analyse the girls so he'd resorted to occupying himself with alcohol.

"God, Chandler, I haven't seen you this hammered since you consumed all those vodka jello shots on Joey's birthday," Phoebe noted, scrutinising him from head to toe. "The apartment really must have meant a lot to you."

Chandler let out a puff of air, suddenly feeling very talkative. He blamed it on the amount of alcohol that was cursing through his veins, sending his mind into overdrive.

"I don't un'erstand," he babbled, slumping his shoulders in defeat.

The blonde gave him a quizzical look and tried to hide a laugh. Chandler could be quite adorable when he had reached a certain level of drunkenness. Of course, Phoebe would never admit that out loud.

"Well, you have to come to terms with the fact that the girls took it back. I thought you boys enjoyed the little show before?"

It took Chandler a few moments to process the information. He screwed up his face in concentration and shook his head vehemently. "But .. what about the b-boxes?"

Phoebe paused in confusion before continuing, "what boxes?"

Frustrated, Chandler exhaled, but he was way too intoxicated to think coherently. "S'nothing." He took another sip of his beer before Phoebe shrugged, having given up her cross-examination. There was a point at which talking to a drunk Chandler didn't make much sense anymore. At least not to her.

"So we thought it would be fun to play a couple of rounds 'Spin the Bottle', are you in?" Phoebe got up and looked at him.

The others had already gathered around the kitchen table, visibly excited and slightly intoxicated as well. Without thinking much, Chandler got up and stumbled over to his friends. Joey walked up next to him and patted his back, handing him another beer.

"Look who's up again! So you ready for the extra-awesome 'truth-or-dare-Spin-the-Bottle' crossover version? It's gonna be wiiiild," the Italian yelled into his ear as an oversensitive Chandler pulled away, covering his ear.

"Dude, I may be drunk but I can still hear you," he replied, yelling just as loudly.

Monica rolled her eyes as she watched the guys. The evening had been nicer than she had expected, but she was certain that her alcohol consumption had something to do with it. Normally she would be fairly grossed out by some of the guys' behaviour, but as they were her friends and her own boundaries were distinctly lower than usual, she rubbed her hands in excitement. "Let's get this party started then!"

"Of course. The female Geller has to call the shots again," Joey mumbled before grabbing a handful of Doritos and moving over to the couch. Monica just rolled her eyes as they all moved over into the living room and Rachel fetched an empty bottle.

Chandler sat down on the carpet as he squinted, scrutinising the girls again. He sighed in frustration and watched as an overly excited Ross began the game. He zoned out, still way too drunk to function properly until a brilliant idea crossed his mind: all he had to do was wait his turn, and if the bottle eventually pointed on one of the girls, he would pull his 'truth or dare' card and force them to spill the beans on who had cleaned out his room. After all, they were all fairly drunk so by tomorrow, they would most likely have forgotten all of it again. Yes, what a brilliant plan it was! The Chan Chan Man could be proud of himself!

Monica watched as Chandler's mood seemingly changed from melancholy to a barely controlled pink glee. Something was up with him, but she blamed it on the alcohol. He'd been acting sort of strange all night long and she was wondering if he knew more than he let on. She had never had communication problems with Chandler before and it frustrated her to no end that there was definitely _something_ between the two of them that resulted in all this unresolved tension.

After a few more rounds had been played, she suddenly froze when the bottle came to a halt and pointed right at her. She had not paid attention to whose turn it was as she glanced at her friends' faces in desperation. When she noticed Chandler's determined gaze and the somewhat red head, she swallowed hard.

She watched as he had another sip of his drink, the room and her friends eventually fading out until it was just her and him left. She had tried all evening to calm her brain, to no avail. Right now, every fibre of her being was screaming inside of her to let it all out. She swallowed and looked right into his blue eyes.

"Truth."

The alcohol inside his system provided him with the confidence he needed as he returned and held her piercing gaze.

"Were you the one in charge of moving my stuff back over into apartment 19?"

Monica's head started to spin as she felt all the colour drain from her face.

 _He knew_.

* * *

 **A/N: Just another small update, but as long as the story keeps moving along in bits, that's okay, right? Didn't want to leave you hanging and I'm not making promises I can't keep, but I'm hoping to update with a much longer chapter at the end of October. I also wanted to thank all of you for reviewing the previous chapter, it really gave me the motivation to continue. Feedback is so important for the writer, please bear that in mind.**


	5. Chapter 5

"Were you the one in charge of moving my stuff back over into apartment 19?"

An almost unbearable silence filled the room that seemed to last forever. Time slowed down and Monica knew the longer she kept her mouth shut, the more suspicious her behaviour would appear. But before she could answer, Phoebe burst in.

Rolling her eyes, the blonde gestured around wildly, "Duh, of course Monica was in charge of moving all the stuff. Have you met her? She's _always_ in charge."

Chandler continued to stare at Monica before slowly turning his head to acknowledge what Phoebe had said, even though it was far from what he had originally intended to find out.

Rachel shared a look with Monica, obviously clueless as to what was going on. "Pheebs, I don't think that's what he meant …"

But Monica picked up the bottle instead and avoided Chandler's eyes on her. "Sure, I was in charge of the move," she replied, hoping the ambiguous answer would satisfy her sarcastic friend, especially in a room full of drunk people who had no idea what had happened earlier in the day.

Chandler squinted at his eyes at her and tried to read the look on the brunette's face. He knew her too well by now; the way she was biting her lip was a clear indication of her nervousness. She quickly spun the bottle as it tumbled across the carpet in a frenzy, pointing right at him. He raised his eyebrow at her, she clearly hadn't expected such a cruel turn of events.

Monica swallowed hard and took another gulp of the infamous Tiki Death punch before glaring at Chandler, suddenly filled with a new-found energy and determination.

"What exactly did you mean by that?" she challenged.

"Ok, can someone just tell me what the hell is going on between the two of you?" Joey interrupted as he watched the battle unfold between two of his best friends. He'd always noticed the special bond between Monica and Chandler and knew they sometimes took things far too seriously, especially when Monica's competitiveness kicked in and Chandler simply couldn't deny her anything.

Chandler exhaled as he glared at his female opponent. He then glanced at his friends before his eyes landed on Joey. "The girls went through our stuff when they switched the apartments back and I'm pretty sure Monica stole a twenty from my wallet."

A look of confusion grazed Monica's features before she realised what he was doing. He may know _something_ , but he wasn't one to discuss it in front of all their friends.

Joey's mouth gaped open as he looked at the accused one in shock, pointing a finger at her. "Is that because we always steal the food from your fridge?!"

Chandler rolled his eyes, exasperated by Joey's obliviousness, but at least his distraction tactic was working for now.

Monica suddenly found herself to be the centre of attention once more, but this time for an entirely different reason. "I… I didn't mean to … it just fell into my lap as I was packing your things into the boxes," she tried to explain her predicament in a way so their friends wouldn't find out about Chandler's best-hidden secret.

He watched as Monica confessed, confirming his worst fear. Heat rose up within him and his collar suddenly felt much too tight. This could _not be happening._

"And… I know it's wrong but when it was right there … your, uh, w-wallet, I mean, I couldn't stop myself from opening it to see what was i-inside."

Chandler shook his head as he stood up, his head spinning. Even though he was intoxicated to an almost dangerous level, his instincts were still working the usual way. Everything inside him was screaming to run.

"I can't believe this," he mumbled before making his way to the nearest exit, the bottle of beer clutched in his hand.

"Chandler, wait!" Monica got up as fast as she could, attempting to follow him before the door shut right into her face, leaving behind a stunned gang. As well as she knew him; knew that he needed some space now, some time to clear his head, she had to do some damage control. He was his own worst enemy. If she wasn't there to at least keep him company and apologise for her misconduct, she couldn't even begin to imagine what it would do to their friendship.

Despite his weak lung capacity, she had trouble keeping up with him. Yelling his name as she followed him onto the streets of Manhattan, he kept a steady pace and had soon disappeared in the crowd of shoppers, tourists and business men.

Sadness filled her from deep within as she stopped in her tracks, arms akimbo as she tried to catch her breath, the tears quickly filling her eyes. She couldn't believe she had screwed this up so badly. _WHY_ did she have to read Chandler Bing's diary?

* * *

"Toby, what the hell are you doing here at this godforsaken hour?"

Chandler had been relentlessly pacing up and down the hallway in front of his office for what felt like hours. He stopped in his tracks and turned around to face Chris, one of his co-workers with whom he'd been working on the transitioning from the KL-5 to GR-6 system.

"Uh …," Chandler glanced at the clock on the wall and ran a hand through his hair. "Just escaping from some uncomfortable confrontation back home."

Chris eyed him, but didn't push the issue further as he nodded. "I see. Hey, you feel like getting a coffee or something? Looks like girl trouble."

"Ah, I better not. It's getting late and I guess I should be heading back home. Eventually. But thanks," he nodded as he slapped him lightly on the shoulder. What a messed up day it was when not even the office could provide him with some much-needed quietness so he could wallow in self-pity.

At least the weather was in keeping with his mood, he thought. By now, it was 2 a.m. and the rain drops hit the mostly empty Manhattan streets mercilessly. He pushed up his collar to shield himself from the elements, purposefully prolonging his way back home in the hope that everyone else would be asleep by now. He wanted nothing more than to forget today's events. All he wanted was to curl up under the covers and to hide from the world.

After what felt like an eternity, he reached the front door of his building and fumbled with the keys for a while before stumbling inside, drenched to the bones. The sudden warmth made him feel at least somewhat better. Running a hand through his wet hair, he pulled a grimace before beginning the ascent to his apartment. He assumed he would have to take a shower before going to bed, otherwise he'd probably catch pneumonia and as welcoming as an illness sounded at this stage (it would make for the perfect excuse), he already felt bad as it was.

The hallway was quiet as he reached the top of the stairs, the blackness that was visible from the crack under the door an indication that its residents were most likely asleep. Letting out a breath of relief, Chandler opened the door that was still unlocked and lost his jacket on the way to the bedroom, not really caring about the trail of clothing he was leaving behind. At this point, he was way too tired and uncomfortable to care. He lost all of his wet clothes as he reached the bed without having bothered to turn on the light, cursing under his breath when he stubbed his toe on the wooden bed post. When he was only in his boxers, he crawled under the sheets.

All of a sudden he felt something right next to him stir. Frozen in shock, he remained rigid and tried not to breathe.

Who on earth slept in his bed?! As if the girls going through all his personal belongings and the Eddie watching him sleep fiasco hadn't been bad enough, this was now the final straw.

"What the hell?!" Chandler switched on the bedside lamp, his eyes squeezing shut at first as they had to adjust to the bright light. What he saw next shocked him.

Of all the people, he was sharing a bed with Monica.

Worse of all, a Monica who was now waking up.

Chandler bit his lip, suddenly noticing that he hadn't only come back to his former transitional apartment 20, but that he was almost naked.

The sleeping figure next to him opened her eyes carefully, inching slightly away from him.

"Chandler? What are you doing here?" her voice was coated with sleep and confusion. To his surprise, he could not detect accusatory undertone.

"Uh …" he stuttered, pulling the sheets higher up to his chin, in the process uncovering Monica as she only used one big blanket.

Aware of the ever-growing tension between them, he tried to get a grip on his feelings. "I'm sorry, it was all dark and all my clothes were wet, I just wanted to crawl into bed and … I completely forgot that you, uh, … moved the … stuff."

He cursed himself silently for having to bring up the moving predicament again, resulting in an even more unbearable tension.

Monica nodded in secret understanding, biting her lip as he still wasn't moving.

Chandler stayed frozen for another while, clutching onto the sheet before clearing his throat. "Ah, I should probably leave …"

Gathering all the courage up that she could muster, Monica knew she had to talk things through with Chandler now before the situation got even worse. "No, wait. We need to talk about what happened. Please. I just don't want to lose you, Chandler."

He risked a quick glance at her in the shade of the dim light, knowing he couldn't really escape the situation even if he wanted to. His clothes were still strewn around her apartment and he didn't even know if he had the keys of apartment 19. On top of that, he was almost naked.

"Look," she took a deep breath before taking his hand in hers, playing with the soft hairs on his arm as she didn't look into his eyes while speaking. "I know it was wrong of me to read your diary, there's no excuse for what I did and I understand that you're mad at me."

Chandler glanced over at her, still frowning. Even though he was disappointed in her, he couldn't help but feel an overwhelming amount of love for the woman next to him.

"And I know you might not want to talk or even look at me right now," she continued, to which Chandler only moved slightly. There was no way he would ever not want to be with her. "for what it's worth, it's always great when you find out someone loves you." For the first time in a while, she looked into his eyes, albeit carefully. "Especially someone who's as high maintenance as me."

He remained silent, letting the words sink in. After a while, he slowly met her eyes, squeezing her hand. "How could I not, Mon? It's what makes you _you_ ," he whispered.

In return, she grinned slightly as they were both holding hands, caught up in the moment.

"You know, I'd offer you my diary to read but I haven't used it in years."

The small, lopsided grin that slowly appeared made her realise that he seemed ready to take jokes about it.

"We're good, Mon," he said softly, nodding, before slowly entangling himself from her sheets and scanning the room for his remaining attire. Monica bit her lip as she watched him from afar, overtired and half-naked in the middle of her bedroom.

"Why don't you stay here tonight?" she whispered. When he turned around to face her, she knew she didn't have to convince him further.

"Really?"

Nodding, she lifted up the covers to invite him back into her bed. "Crazy Plate Lady could really use Crazy Snake Man's company tonight."

Grinning, he turned his attention back to Monica before crawling into her bed in apartment 20.

Maybe he wouldn't have to give up the purple living quarters after all.

* * *

 **A/N: Another wonderful THANK YOU to everyone who took the time to review my previous chapter; I was overwhelmed by all the support you've given me, also by favouriting and following this story. I hope this chapter will be well-received and make up for my slow and short updates. Now that I've sort of reached a conclusion with this fic we're coming to an end, which I think we'll reach with the next chapter. Please let me know what you thought.**


	6. Chapter 6

Monica watched as Chandler carefully crawled back into her bed. Even though it was the middle of the night and her body and mind were slowly calming down again after the events of the day, she knew they had to talk.

"Uh, my clothes are drenched, do you mind …?" He pointed at his half-naked state, blushing slightly, which Monica noticed even in the dimly-lit bedroom.

She waved her hand dismissively and fluffed her pillow before leaning comfortably against it. "You once peed on me and worry about _that_?"

He couldn't help but grin, relieved and glad that everything seemed to be okay between them again, still marvelling at how easy their mutual banter always was. He watched as she took a deep breath and pushed some dark locks behind her ear, chuckling nervously.

"So …"

"So," he repeated, feeling like it was his turn to explain now. "You're totally forgiven."

Gratefully, she gave him one of her dazzling smiles before playing with the top part of the bed sheet.

"I think now that I know pretty much everything that's going on in here," she reached out and slowly ran her fingers over his exposed skin, sending shivers down his spine. He felt like he was burning from her touch, "you deserve to know about my feelings."

Her blue eyes met his and he was still in disbelief that he was here, in Monica Geller's bed, having this discussion. Maybe the whole idea of switching apartments back hadn't been so bad after all.

"I guess it all started around the time you were with Kathy," she whispered, deliberately avoiding his gaze on her as she grew somewhat nervous. Maybe writing down your feelings and having your crush discover them was an even easier option than this open confession, she mused.

"I don't really know whether it was because I saw how happy you two were together or what," she shrugged her shoulders, "it just made me realise that you were a great catch."

He swallowed hard at that, not believing his ears. Monica suddenly thought he was boyfriend material?

She finally looked into his eyes again. "And don't get me wrong, I always knew that you were special, I mean you're so charming, smart, caring, sexy, …"

Chandler raised his eyebrow at that, trying his best not to jump for joy and break out into a Chandler-dance.

"I knew you were all those things, but when you went through all this trouble to get Kathy that mint copy of _The Velveteen Rabbit_ …damn, if she wasn't the luckiest girl in the world." Monica laughed softly, her gaze on him intensifying. "And at one point I realised that I was jealous. I didn't want to watch it all from the sidelines anymore. I didn't want to watch how you went completely out of your way to make all those women happy just for them to betray you, to take you for granted."

He definitely noticed the Geller anger and determination shine through as he watched her intently. Was this really happening for him? Without really trying and knowing, he had impressed Monica Geller just by being Chandler Bing.

She swallowed as she inched closer to him, her touch electrifying when her bare shoulder came into contact with his.

"And before I knew it, I had fallen in love with you, Chandler," she whispered, her eyes now locked with his when she felt his hot breath on her skin.

"I was just too shy to admit it. I didn't know you felt the same way."

He still couldn't believe he was hearing those sweet words from her mouth, his only focus were her crystal blue eyes and her rosy lips and those wonderful freckles. He'd noticed them a million times on her, but they had never been that physically close and alluring to him before.

As if by magic, his hand found the side of her face. Feeling her porcelain skin with his thumb, he licked his dry lips as the world seemed to come to a halt around them.

"Reading those words earlier … I-I couldn't believe it. It just overwhelmed me. But ever since I found out I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. About us," she exhaled, a small smile playing around her lips which was mirrored by his own smile.

Chandler swallowed one last time before closing the remaining space between them as their lips touched for the very first time and every little doubt that was left in his mind disappeared. A soft moan resonated from the back of her throat as the soft kiss turned into more, his tongue soon discovering her mouth as they both fought for dominance. The need to breathe soon became a necessity, both of them parting only reluctantly as their chests heaved.

"Wow," Monica still held onto him tightly, taking slow breaths as she tried to process their first kiss.

"I know," he replied just as breathlessly, grinning at the irony of having just used the most _Monica-esque_ catchword after a kiss with, well, Monica.

"I think you should stay here tonight."

"Oh yeah, do you?" Chandler wiggled his eyebrows and pulled her in close, kissing the top of her head and feeling better than he ever remembered.

Yes, even though it was more of a girly activity, keeping a diary had actually paid off for him. He wasn't sure if there was a possibility that he'd ever found the courage to confess his true feelings for Monica. The risk it bore when it came to their friendship and crossing that specific line had seemed to big. And – after all – she herself had deemed him to not be boyfriend material a year ago.

But now he couldn't be happier that she was the one who found his tales of suffering – tales that he hoped would forever stay in the past.

"Thank you for telling me that. And for boosting my ego," he grinned.

She laughed softly and snuggled closer to him, placing her face in the crook of his neck, where it belonged.

"Want to keep everything that has happened tonight between us for now? I could do without those nosy guys at the beginning," he inhaled her scent as she craned her neck to look up at him.

"Yeah, that's a good idea."

There was a comfortable silence between them before Monica quickly got up, opening the drawer of her nightstand and rummaging through it in a desperate attempt to find something. He raised his eyebrows at her and watched as she let out a triumphant cry before joining him in bed again. She lifted up a pen and a notebook in excitement, opening the latter on the first blank page before meticulously taking off the cap and lowering the pen until it was touching the white paper.

"I feel like this is a worthy cause to start a new diary," Monica replied. Grinning, she inscribed the headline into the notebook:

" _Crazy Snake Man's Tale of Happiness."_

 _April 9_ _th_ _, 1998: …_

* * *

 **A/N: Thank you so much to every single one of you for all your feedback! This is the final chapter of this fic and I hope it will wrap things up nicely for you. I've had a great time writing this and as I've been sick this week I had time to re-read a lot of Mondler fics, still amazed by all the talent that's out there. It has inspired me and I wanted to thank all those talented authors out there who keep Mondler alive for us after all these years. I hope I will soon find more inspiration and, most of all, time to write some more for you, but I'm not making any promises. Again, thanks for all the support and see you soon.**


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